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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Against the color Black

Dear Neophyte,

Warning: Incoming swearing, judging and finger pointing.  The first part of this blog is a rant, the second part is the part missing from every other blog rant out there: my attempt to fix the problem.  This went on longer than intended and may bet separated into two posts at some point in the future.


Part One:
Against the Black
Unoriginal, Lack of Creativity, No Imagination


Black is not our defining color as witches.  It's not.  There are so many other colors out there, thousands of different shades and hues.  To say we worship Mother Nature and revere all life and then balk at utilizing all the colors She's given us is just a slap in Her face.

I don't want to be the one to tell the Pagan community this, but USE OTHER COLORS BESIDES BLACK.

Do all Christians dress in all brown because churches are made out of wood?  No.  Nor do they dress in gray because that's what color Jesus was when he died.  Ok, bad zombie jokes aside (lol), there needs to and has GOT to be a limit here!








Check yourself:
Makeup is black?

Clothing is black?

Car is black?

Pet is black?

Jewelry is black?

Home decor is black?

BoS is black?

Computer is black?

FOOD is black (god's sake, get help!)?

Fashion accessories are black?


Dinnerware is black?

If all of this applies to you then you may be what is commonly refereed to by the cowans as "Unoriginal", "Boring", "Scared", or what I like to call "Hello my Name is: Emo".  More on this in a minute :)

Now most of the time I really don't mind what color all of someone elses' crap is because it's your personal crap to color however you want.  But what has tipped me over the edge today is that EVERY Pagan blog out there seems to be black with some vivid and garish colored lettering.  And what isn't black is still dark red (like dried blood cause your SO wicked...).

Now, work with me here.  Go read wikipedia for about 20 min (any article, just pick one at random), then go back to your blog.  I don't mean search for it in the engine but already have it pulled up.  Then just click on it and when it loads tell me what the first thing you see is.  If you're like me then the first thing your brain does is have a seizure because of the color difference.  Read your blog for 20 min then go back to wikipedia.  Repeat about 3 times.  By the time you're done your brain hurts.

Your black blog is ugly and this needs to be said.  It's tacky, unoriginal, plan and very, very, very boring.  Whatever article you wrote in it takes about 20 min to read threw (if that) and then someone goes to another  blog.  After visiting three or four blogs, the sensible ones of which will be in other colors BESIDES BLACK, and the tacky ones of which will be ON BLACK, your eyes start to hurt.

My frontal lobe is throbbing just thinking about it.

I've also noticed that people with huge graphics, logs of flashy links to charities all up and down the sides of their blog and all printed ON BLACK in some garish teal or purple writing are the people who have the least to say.  They don't post experiments with magic, they don't do original 101 lessons, they don't keep up with spiritual insights they've gained threw living their religion.  They don't do anything.  They just want to have a black blog with lots of 'free the whale' advertising on the side and not actually keep a blog.  That or they will just link their blog to other people's blog in that lazy manor that would be illegal in most states were they trying to publish a book in such a manor.

So the lesson here is that if you want anyone to be ABLE to read your blog and WILLING to come back to it, then you need to set the background color to something that is LIGHTER than the writing itself.  This makes the words pop out and it's less taxing for the eyes + brain to process.  The older a reader is the quicker their eyes get tired.  I don't even bother to try to read blogs with black backgrounds anymore so be assured that this is one less reader, subscriber, comment-or, ad-sense clicker, sweepstakes participating in, or whatever other interactions I may have with you because of your blog.

No.  I'm not doing it anymore.  If you cant make the effort to even make your blog readable then I'm damn sure not going to read it, just to realize 10 min in that you've been quoting The Wild Hunt all along.  You know what they say about fool me once...

Part Two
Colors
Creative, Expressive, Open

So 45% of the reason people dress in black and have all black stuff is because they want to be mysterious.  The other 45% is because they lack creativity, imagination and are attempting to throw up a wall between themselves and the world.  What about that niggling tiny % leftover?  Well, that is for true goths... the people who went threw the goth phase for all the reasons listed in the next paragraph, but grew up.  They just kept the fashion because they like it and (are one of the few) it looks good on them.  You can convince yourself your in that smaller % if you want, but just realize that it doesn't change your reality just because you want it to.

News flash: You can't throw up a wall and still be mysterious at the same time.  The wall itself has graffiti all over it that says what is on the other side.  Hurt.  Trauma.  Anger.  Depression.  Abuse.  People don't push other people away because they have an un-abused heart that was not toyed with, smashed, frozen, burned, stolen and used.

That is the 10% at least.  The rest of you just want attention.  You pretend to have trauma and you create drama where there is none.  You're posers and assholes.  Yeah, attention wanting, drama creating, trauma faking ASSHOLES.

Hell, you don't even notice the real suffering in this world, do you?

Lemmy share a true story:  I left a bar one night with 18 phone numbers and all I did was read chapters 3-15 of Moreta: Dragonlady of Pern while sitting in a booth surrounded by 8 other people.  Not one of the dancers on stage got hit on all night (I was the guest of one of the dancers).

Why?

Because BRIGHT ORANGE and YELLOW broom skirts stand out in any place where people are draped neck to deck in black leather, sequins and feathers.  When the matron of the bar asked me if I wanted her to make the men leave me alone (she's a friend of a friend) I asked her what was up.  She said something I'll never forget: "In a sea of glitter you're the only thing shining.  In an ocean of black and silver, your the bright spot in the night.  All fish are drawn to the light; set your hook for the right kind."  Helpful dating advice and social commentary from an unlicensed therapist.

Follow this plan for transitioning out of wearing all black:  Black >Red > Brown/Blue > Orange/Yellow > Pink > Tan/Cream >White

My sister and I grew up in separate houses.  At home she was wore black exclusive to any other color.  To the point where if anyone bought her anything of another color she'd dye it black, regardless of how terrible the resulting mess turned out.  As long as it was black.

At my house though?  (not a picture of my sister, but of her what she really likes to wear)

It took getting her out of that house and into her own life before she branched out into colors.  To this day you'll find maybe four articles of black clothing in her closet and those she reserves for her punk rock concerts and bar fly nights.  She, like most girls, go to bars to hang out with friends so the idea here is to blend in.  Black does that for her, just like everyone else.

But how can yo go about getting rid of your black on black on black look?

First off, stop buying black. I know you think it makes you look witchy and mysterious and exciting, but what is the point when there is no warmth in black and no one is going to be approaching you give you that attention you so desperately want?

Try yellow.  Yellow is an energizing color for me.  It's the Sun God and warmth and openness and it gets my brain juices flowing.  It's also the 'color' of the air and conversation.  It's easy to approach someone who is wearing yellow.  Its easier to live in a room with yellow walls and match a yellow necklace to any other number of colored clothing I own.

If you don't like yellow then take a look at some color swatches (online if you don't have any colored clothing on hand) and see which ones match your eyes.  Anything that matches your eyes looks good on you.  My eyes are light blue so I look good in light blue and creams, lighter colored copper jewelry and turquoise stones.

Try a different color scheme for your blog.  I like to go with lighter themes or seasonal themes since they are the most open and inviting, and change them every few months.  This way it stays new and fresh.  I logged into an old LJ from years ago and the theme alone brought back traumatic memories of what was going on in my life the last time I logged into that journal to write it all down.  Needless to say I deleted the journal.

For dishes, go with lighter colored dinnerware.  You can't see the color of your wine in a black glass goblet and YES the color is a nice thing to see.  Unless it's Dia de los Muertos, I also suggest shying away from black dinnerware.  The plate is a canvas and whoever heard of painting on a black canvas invented the Velvet Elvis and is still being mocked to this day for being cheap and tacky.

Pets?  90% of Pagans with pets don't claim they are familiars and don't have black pets.  Even if they are, choosing a pet just because it's black is mean to all the other pets out there that may have been way better for you (or could have even been your real familiar) if you had only been less bias.  Having a black pet doesn't not make you Pagan.  Having a long haired Persian that rips down your altar cloth and sleeps on it after you lock her outside your bedroom at night, and then you cant get the two inch long white hairs out of it to save your life... that makes it a real Pagan's pet!

I could go on and on but this post is going on and on and you get the point.  But, you ask, how will people know I'm mysterious?  The real question is... why do you want them to?  But, you ask, how will they know I'm different?  The real question is... why do you think you're not?  But, you ask, how will they know I'm Pagan.  Because if you're that needy for attention then the question isn't 'how will they know your Pagan if you're not decked out in all black'... but how will they not?!

Your hubcap sized pentacle necklace, complete with enameled ivy, moon, wolf, wand, broom, raven, towers and drops of fake blood is kind of a dead giveaway!

Salutations,
Sesh