Tea, Dreams, and Studies

Dear Neophyte,

I've been drinking my sister's ADHD medication.  That is, I've been drinking the tea she was given by her naturopath to help with her ADHD.  It's just fancy blends of herbs and flowers that help the adrenal glands and whatnot. 

Originally they were supposed to be coupled with shamanistic works of deposession in order to calm oneself and get rid of whatever might be hyping you up.  That's why I love naturopaths: They work WITH you as a whole instead of against your body.

She decided that since the teas are supposed to be drunk without sugar that she won't drink them at all.  Well, they do taste pretty much like hot leaf juice in equally hot water if you do it that way.  But, hey, they aren't my prescriptions so I'm drinking them with at least enough sugar to float the actual flavors of the tea. 

The actual flavors are light enough to keep me interested and warm enough to keep me calm. 

I've noticed that I have more energy at work, sleep longer and better, and when I come home I'm typically not all over the place goofing off.  I'm usually goofing off in just one place.  That is after I do my energetic exercises. 

So I looked this tea up online since the prescription didn't include a list of ingredients and it's clearly like 10 different things in each of the two teas ("Adrenal" and "Serenity").  The one that I found on the Teavana website had a whole host of people saying it gave them vivid nightmares. 

Well.  Duh.  I'm pretty sure that herbs have properties that will loosen people's demons from their sources and set them loose.  Uncontrolled entities will either wreck havoc or leave.  It seems to me like the herbal energies are unleashing people's traumas so they have to deal with them.  It's called SERENITY for a reason!  You can't be serene if you're troubled with anxiety, PTSD, and a case of the jitters. 

You have to work through your trauma in order to get serenity.  Tea alone won't do that for you, but herb power of the herbs just might.  Especially if they haven't been overly molested by humanity in their process of becoming a neatly stored and overpriced item on the shelf of a mall kiosk.

That being said: I had another zombie dream on night two of drinking these teas.  It had no zombies in it.  I wasn't all that scared.  I had friends with me who weren't zombies or too awfully terrified.  We just ran around avoiding areas with zombies in order to gather supplies.  I remember keyly trying to o'rperch a wall that was either draped or painted white. I hope this means I'm getting around the 'zombies' in my waking life.

No, I'm not saying that anything that's happening to me is because of the tea.  On the waning parts of the moon, I sleep better due to low energy.  Sleeping better gives me more energy at work.  So does the good coffee I bought for the mornings.  So does eating far better as I tend to do when I watch cooking shows and make blackened tuna, followed by cordon bleu, followed by the perfect mushroom and goat cheese omelet, then onigiri. 

That and some effects of tea are instantaneous.  But not this tea.  It takes about 3 weeks to kick in fully and that's only if you take the recommended amounts.  I'm not taking nearly so much.  I predict I may never get the "full benefits" of this tea at any point.  But the point is that they do help me.  They still have a cumulative effect, even if it's slower.

The lack of overly sweet tea (I AM from the South) right after work and lack of too many sweets in general as of late is probably what's helping with my restlessness.  Let's see if this holds when the moon is waxing and I'm going apeshit with too much energy.  Or the next time I cycle around to an introverted period of depression.

Also, I started a study group for wayward witchlets that includes friends and family.  I predict a good 4 meetings before it either falls apart due to scheduling conflicts or people decide they need a different type of group and vacate.  None of us has cars, so there is that too.

Lastly, I am doing my energy exercises again.  In an attempt to avoid the burn-out associated with pretty much every other time I sat down to retake my studies I am not forcing time limits or forcing note-taking (though it's clear now I need to bend that rule a bit), nor am I forcing times of the day or even daily practice.  So far, so good as it's been about a week and I've done 4 days of practices using the 4 elements for channeling work.   I really do need to take notes, as being able to recall each of the elemental energies and what they felt like is important.  Hm...

More on each of these in the future as I'd like to detail my group as well as my new personal studies.

Salutations,
Sesh

Hekate's Hearth - Puerto Rico

Dear Blacky,

My sister, Rosie, and I sent 3 bags of food to Puerto Rico in the wake of the hurricane.  Below is a picture of the bags of food, along with my toes and the bottom third of our spinning stripper pole.

Giving away food.

No, I don't mean "dance pole, used for exercising".  I mean my sister was a stripper and it's for stripping exercises.  I've used it too.  It's for stripping.  Some dancing is involved.  Mostly the removal of clothing in a slow and sensual manner.  Stripping.

We also sent 5 bags of clothing.

We're generous, right?  Yes, we are.

Sort of.

You see, we had these clothes already in the hall ready to give away.  They don't fit or, in my sister's case, are stained and she no longer wanted them.  In my case, they were old hat from a time when I had just moved into this state, having fled the oppression of the South, and was finally allowed to buy clothing for myself.  I've come to not really like what I bought.  Back then it was fine, but now not so much.

As for the food, it was mostly leftover cans of stuff from the food bank that we have had sitting around for well over a year and had not eaten.  A holy f*ck ton of kidney beans, cranberry sauce, tomatoes of all kinds, and boxes of pasta that a co-worker gave me but that I will honestly never eat now that I know how to make it from scratch.

I'd have sent bags and bags of pasta too if I had not already opened them and resealed them into jars and mylar bags.

You see, this was the remains of my emergency backstock.  Herein lies the giving part, at least on my end:

I had been keeping this food around for emergencies.  It's been sitting on my shelf waiting to be made into gooey baked pasta dishes, or hearty chilies, or as a random dressed up side.  Eventually, it would all have been eaten.  I collected and kept it all from a food bank in town that I stopped going to when I wound up with way more canned and jarred goods than I had room for on the shelves.

The problem arose when I moved into a place that was too small to hold all of this excess food AND store all of my other items.  So I stopped going to the food bank and started just eating it.  My grocery trips have been short and small on the budget because of how much flour, rice, beans, and canned meats I still had at home.  I didn't eat a lot of fresh vegetables, but I almost always got fresh fruits.

Then it turns out I still wasn't going through it fast enough.  My sister moved back in and took half the space that was already too small.  So the food wound up in the drawers of my captain's bed, and on the shelves of my closet.  Originally it had all been on the shelves of the guest closet (her room now) so it all had to move.

Going to sleep with 10 tins of tomatoe paste, 3 jars of cranberry sauce and 23 cans of kidney beans smiling down on you is as weird as having a toilet located 10 feet from your bed.

En suit bathrooms are a no-go for me in the future.  It's too strange that the steam can only vent into your bedroom after you leave the shower.  That much water has no business being that close to my bed, and the toilet (as mentioned) is far-far too close to me at all times.

Anyway.

I started planning to just get rid of the food by regifting it to co-workers.  Occasionally someone brings some things, like the boxes of Roni in the pictures, and gives it away.  My plan was to take a bag full of food to work and leave it there till it's all gone, and then bring another bag once it's empty.

The part of this that has anything to do with being a Hearth Witch is my connection to Hekate.  Hekate is a Titan, not a Goddess, and She is the matron of the downtrodden.  Those on the fringes of society who need help and usually arn't getting it.  Homeless.  Wanderers.  Vagabonds.  Oftentimes Me.

Years ago, after recieving a dream from Hekate, I came to an understanding that I should help those who need help more.  I played around with the idea of a charity that I'd call 'Hekate's Hearth' where those exact people who live on the edges of society could come and get some help.  Sometimes it would be a bed, sometimes food, sometimes an ear to listen.  Nothing formal.  Nothing official.  Just a helping hand.  Maybe even some repair work.

The idea is that there are not enough Pagan charities out there.  Not ones that are actively pagan, who have a Matron they honor, and whose community and recipients know it's in honor of a non-patriarchal deity.  Not in the same way as some charities are just named after or in honor of a deity, but who actually honor a deity, with an altar where people can leave offerings and everything.

Hekate is a deity who rules in the dark half of the year.  Yes, She can rule anytime and is in all times, but She and Her dog like to be out when it's dark and thus They are associated with the dark half.  That being said, this is the time of the year when people are instructed to be given anyway.  I've never thought of pseudo-Christian holidays as instilling a sense of giving in anyone as they tend to be all about receiving, receiving, receiving.

Yet since the year of that dream, I am having more and more urges to donate and give to charity in the name of Hekate.  To honor Her.  To in some way make Her Hearth a thing that brings any type of warmth to those seeking light and shelter or any type from any type of cold.  To spread the love and light around a bit.

To polish my corner of the world.

Or in this case Puerto Rico.

So while my sister may have been giving these bags of food to her office to put with the rest being shipped down, they were actually all from me and all in the name of Hekate and to honor Her as matron of those who are destitute and in need.  The clothing was half hers, but the half that was mine was all in very wearable condition and most only 2-3 years old.

Today I honored Hekate by spreading the light and love of Her heart out around the world.  May every can of beans light a will to rise above in all who consume it and may every skirt be worn to dance the joy of seeing the situation inprove every day.

In Hekate's honor,
Sesh
Priestess of the Hearth

Samhain Year End Self Reflection and Meditation

Dear Neophyte,

This is my list of closing of the year mind, spirit, and life reflections.  (My list of external activities is another post.)  This time of the year is for shedding the old year, bad habits and relationships, and going to ground so you can heal your hurts.  You'll probably notice there are a lot of people around you going through profound lifestyle changes right now.  I certainly do.  

Like the Slain God we too go through a mock death and transformation.  At Mabon the God was slain and Chaos rules the earth.  In the eternal words of Eddard Stark: "Winter is coming."  Now winter is nigh upon us and the God has gone to ground literally buried in the womb of his lover-mother, who gives birth to him again at Yule.  Until then Chaos rules our lives and we too much go to ground, heal the wounds, grow as people, and get ready for the painfully glorious reentry into the world come Yule.  (Or sometime around Midwinter/End of Winter, since people are individuals and get through things on their own time.)

Personally I'm so overrun by people who are freaking out at losing their scales that they are inundating me with a list of woes every time I turn around.  I know a lot of people have Nature Deficit Disorder, but surely you must know that loss and growth are just a part of life.  Let hurts go.  Mourn.  Heal.  Recover.  There is a cycle to all this. Everyone before you has done it and all those to come will do it too.  We all come from the Goddess and to Her we all return, like the Slain God.

In order to close the year with introspection on all I've done, and look to the new year with a list of all I wish to do I made this list I plan to focus on from here to Yule. I am a goals and list oriented person so I have added ample reminders to journal and make lists.

Sign on the Door: "Therapist is Out.  Will return on Yule."

Meditations, Self-Reflections

1. Personality: Reflect on how far you have come this year as a person. What goals have you accomplished in your life and emotionally? What would you like to work on in the coming days? Make a plan of how you are going to use the new year's energy to empower you for positive change.
2. Book of Shadows: Look back over what you added to your BoS. What kind of spiritual milestones did you reach this year? Make some notes about what you have learned and chart your progress. Which spiritual milestones do you still need to work on? Make some notes on what you need to bone up on more in the coming year. This is the time of year to figure out what spiritual work you need to focus on for the coming year, as well as make a plan for progress.
3. Journals: Revisit diaries, blogs, photographs. Get nostalgic. Now is a good time to scrapbook your year's worth of stuff. Get your blog updated. What challenges have you faced and overcome this year? What is left to learn? Record your progress.
4. Dream Diary: Cross-reference your dream journal with your diary. Did you interpret your dreams correctly? What new information, meanings and symbols do you have to add to your dream dictionary?
5. Facebook: Now is a good time to look back over facebook and remove negative posts, comments, and memes. You really don't want them hanging around the internet for all of eternity. It sends negativity your way every time someone reads them. Leave the positive posts for the positive influences.
6. Old Goals: What goals do you have which are not finished yet? How far along are you? Chart your progress and see where you are and make or renew your plan to see it through. Now is a time to put some magic into the process.
7. Unattainable Goals: What goals were not completed this year? What did you give up on? What needs to be let go of? Let go of it. Admit it's not for you and move on. Maybe burn the goal in the fireplace to release the energy out into the universe. That energy is best spent putting towards something you can obtain.
8. New Goals: What new goals do you want to shoot for this year? Research realistic goal setting and make 5 realistic goals to reach this year. One spiritual, one selfish, one health, one monetary, one adult.
9. Projects-in-Progress: What unfinished projects do you have in progress? What debts are left unpaid? What crafts are half-done? What closet needs to be de-cluttered? Which bag of donations have been sitting in the truck for a month? What car repairs need to be made? What dental visit needs to be planned? Make plans to finish your unfinished projects. You have till December 22 to get them done. Don't drag old energy into the new year! Projects which are not even started yet can be ritualistically boxed up cleansed of all the old year's energy. They can then be opened again at Yule (or whenever you get to them) as 'new' projects, without the guilt associated with something you 'planned' to do and 'didn't get to it'. If you actively shelve it then you are not ignoring it!
10. Samhain Yearly Records: Make records of your Samhain celebrations. Scrapbook the pictures. Write down your rituals, feast, offerings, and especially your emotions and dreams which came afterward.
11. Spirit Guide: If you are Shaman this is the best time of the year to journey to meet or re-meet your spirit guides. If you already have guides then look back over your notes to see how they have helped you, or remember what they taught you this last year. Note which aspects of Them you worked with last year and how it helped you. Note which aspects of Them are showing up to help you this year, and plan to work more with Them on aspects of yourself. You can journey to hang out with them or give them some offerings after the original feast. Your ancestors are also spirit guides, so you can also journey to them so they can pass any messages along. Record the journey results and how you plan to apply your knew knowledge.
12. Nature Walk: Take a meditative walk outdoors. Open your senses and spirit to the changes of the season. Feel the flow of life, the stillness of the earth, and cycle of death into life. Try to fathom your significance in the world, where you are in the Cycle, and how vast the world is. You might bring and offering to leave to the spirit of a particular place who shares with you. Record what you see and find. You can take a drawing pad with you, or a camera, and capture what you see. Be sure to write what you sense as well which is not captured via imagery.

Salutation,

Sesh

Learning From and About Deities through Dreams

Dear Neophyte,

I vowed to try to find out more about my personal pantheon yesterday, starting again with Hecate. I think it's very important every once in a while to go back over the legends and such just to remember why you fell in love with Them in the first place. Hecate came into my life several time but I never understood the symbols till recently. As a child I had black dogs appearing in my dreams every now and again, which I now associate with Hecate, though Her dog is female and I get the distinct impression the one from my dream was male.

He smells Beggon-Strips!

I could just be wrong about either the gender or the association as well. One even told me it's name, though I won't repeat that hear for obvious reasons. The internet has nill to say about the name (it's a corporation name, but nothing in mythology). I still had all these pages pulled up when I shut down my computer yesterday (Ubuntu/firefox is wonderful that way!).

"It's called studying.  Trying it sometime!"

Thoth is the real reason for this resurgence in Deity research, as I promised Him an altar if certain circumstances are met and they were met so now I have an altar to a Neteru that I only know smatterings of lore about. Not to say I'm lazy but when praying for smarts one goes to a intelectual deity in the pantheon you are most familiar with so I went Egyptian > Brain Power > Thoth. He also helped come through on helping me get job in exchange for certain things which I am unable to provide at this time. I don't know if His role is temporary or permanent in my personal pantheon but once I get to learning about Him (and introducing myself formally) I intend to ask.

Fun dream to detail!

1st part:

I was at a New Seasons in Tennessee. An older homeless man (filling out every stereotype of the kind) had a pit bull puppy on a 2 foot long chain. In my mind I knew the puppy was going to spend the rest of it's life on the end of the chain unless someone got it away form the homeless man. I also though that the only reason the man wanted it was because it was a pit bull. Even though I was going to leave it alone I felt like I was being watched and judged for how I would react to seeing this obvious wrong.

Hecate loved your first, ingrate!

I go into the market and find a manager to inform of the situation. After telling her what is going on she acts like it's no big deal. So I detail the laws in Tennessee saying you can't chain a dog up unless it's on your own front lawn (which I don't know if I was making that up or believed it in the dream). The woman then walks outside to do something about the situation. As she walks away I hear a voice, which I don't know if it's my subconscious or the woman or the “narrator” say, “I'll go do what you should have done.”

Then the cat starts yowling outside my door, in reality.

It's 10:00 on the dot, feed meeEEEEEeeee!

As I'm waking up I hear a voice tell me, “Menet, the Everyday Woman's (tm) mouse goodess!” My immediate first semi-conscious though is, “I wonder what Renennutet has to say about that...” Seeing as Ren is the snake goddess of Egypt who is worshiped for protecting the harvest from mice. My second fully conscious though is to wonder if goddesses ever squabble because their earthly familiars eat each other.

Dream interpretation time!

Menet, Necklace Sacred to Hathor

So I looked up “menet”, “Mouse goddess of egypt” (and every variation of that phrase), “renenutet” and the like. From what I can see “menet” is not the name of a Goddess, but is the name of the necklace that is sacred to Hathor (who is a cow/lion headed goddess instead of a mouse). There is no internet information about any mouse-headed deities in Egypt, though I could have sworn I saw one mentioned somewhere and even remember seeing one pictured somewhere.

Honor me with wine, for I keep the harvest safe.

Renenutet is, of course, the snake goddess associated with protecting the harvest from mice. Her alternate form is also the Goddess Sakmet, who has a lion's head. Not sure what any of this has to do with each other but I'm still on the search.

Sakmet, Hathor when She's Pissed

Hathor, With Cow Ears

 

Dogs are Sacred to Hecate

While I was opening up loads of tabs for this search I started closing tabs from the previous days searching about Hecate and in doing so I remembered reading that She is the protector of those who live on the fringe of society... who's sacred animal are dogs. The realization that the first part of the dream, about the homeless man with a dog, may have been from Hecate shocked me. My judgmental attitude (even in my dream thinking this man fit the stereotype of homeless animal abuser too well) may have been being called into check. Perhaps Hecate was telling me that I cannot offer thanks to Her and insult those under Her protection in the same day. I've been encountering a lot of homeless people in Portalnd lately but I don't give them anything because even in Nashville they are able to take care of their entire homeless population so well that they now put out signs saying, “Don't feed the homeless, they already eat better than you!”

Don't look down on someone unless your helping them up.  Don't look back at someone unless you're guiding them.

Perhaps this is Hecate's call to me to be more charitable to those in need. I've been feeling rather greedy lately and I catch myself and though my greed doesn't escape outward, I do little to quell the feeling internally as well. This has lead to a greed deal of unbalance inside. I think but I don't say. I say what I don't believe. This has to stop. If I know something is imbalanced, and my job is to uphold Ma'at, then I need to internalize that understanding, not just have a superficial, outwardly showing. I think perhaps Hecate is telling me to reevaluate my greed and stereotypes. Like the voice said, “I'll go do what you should have done.” I should have done something for the old man, starting with giving him the benefit of the doubt. 

Volunteer Match, Website for Volunteers 

I still don't know what the Egyptian names in my dream mean but I'm pretty sure I have Hecate's partially figured out.  That, and all of them have snakes in common!

Salutations,

Sesh

P.S. All pictures except the meowdling cat are courtacy of google image search.  The cat in the picture is the exact cat who woke me up at 10 and interrupted my divine dreaming.

Amendment: Perhaps I heard wrong and the name that was said was Meret instead of Menet.  It's only a letter difference and Meret is actually a goddess, though not of mice. Still no mice goddess.  Meret is the counterpart of Hapy and is the one who recieves all His bounty.  She is a goddess of joy, rejoicing, celebration and dance.  If it was Her in my dream, well I can see how she could be the "everyday woman's [...] goddess".  Meret is depicted with the same lotus or papyrus of upper or lower Egypt and almost always shown with an offering bowl.  Maybe my dream is telling me to stop stalling on the offerings?

Alternately I got tired of trying to find specific Egyptian mouse goddesses so I just googled "Mouse deities" and Genesh popped up.  Mostly depicted with an elephant head, He ssometimes shows up with an mouse head instead, and there is a good chance that might be where I saw the mouse headed deity.  However, I am not Hindi so this is not a path I'm willing to try to walk.  Sometimes Deity calls to us and we are FORCED to answer.  Sometimes they wave a little "you-hOOO!" and we just wave back and keep going.

A Dream of Bran the Blessed?

Dear Neophytes,

I had a dream.

In this dream I was attending school, I think it was high school but it could have been University.  It was my first day and I was being driven there by one of my mothers careless boyfriends (the kind you love to speak ill of in their presence cause they cant lay a hand on you).  I was wearing this very Egyptian style dress that sorta resembled this:

Shae from Game of Thrones

I kept thinking that if I didnt walk carefully that it would flash open and everyone would be able to see my chest.  I'm particular about keeping that covered so I didnt want that to happen.  My dress was very, very white and had an Egyptian style pectoral collar:

Tutankamun and Ankhenamun

The van that we were in, my sister and I, was black.  I was sitting up front and fretting about my first day.  My sister was in back, the perpetual troublemaker who will never attentions a school (University or whatnot)  .  The van stops in front of this school where students are already lining up to get instructions.  I'm late and I dont want to miss anything.

I get out of the van and then start grabbing my things.  I close the door once and start to walk off as the van pulls away.  Remembering I forgot something else I call for the asshole boyfriend to stop.  He does, saying some nasty stuff about me being a goody-goody (for attending a school this nice), and I shut the door again. Turning around once more I remember I've forgotten my shoes.  In my waking life I go barefoot as often as I can.  Comes with the whole Barefoot Hearthwitch and Pagan territory.

This time the van doesn't stop.  I run after it screaming bloody murder because I cant go to school (not the first day especially.  The jerk won't stop.  I don't know if it's because he cant hear me or because he's just being an ass. Either way, my sister pulls a Buffy move and dives right out the side of the van thinking that if she's not in there that the ass behind the wheel will stop.

We watch him drive away together, upset the plan had failed.

Now I had to contend with no shoes, an armload of stuff I don't know if I need (I don't know why I didn't have a bag for all this stuff), a dress that was barely staying closed and my little sister!  Lets just say that when I turned around and saw all the other students standing in neat little rows with their pleated skirts and logo-ed shirts that I felt a little out of place.

Them

Cloning's Greatest Success:
Find the black sheep!

Versus Me

I want this dress!

Needless to say I stood out so they put me, and my sister, right up front.  For the next half an hour or so we all got a lecture on the values of the school, our place in society, what the school has churned out so far and then going further into the schools official unofficial religion.  I

[Note: Most Greek organizations (that is, sororities and fraternities) have a 'matron goddess' or 'patron god' of their specific organization.  Usually this deity is not actually worshiped in the house, but is honored as being the embodiment of one of the values the house holds above all others.]

n the meantime I'm trying to hide my feet under my dress so no one can see that I dont have any shoes on.  In my waking life I've done this quite often if I was wearing a long dress/skirt and didnt feel like donning 'proper' footwear. 

"Our deity is Bran, who governs commerce."

At least, I think she said that... I should have written it down when I woke up.  I know I got the name "Bran" right because I automatically though of Bran from Game of Thrones and his wolf dreams (yes, I am reading the books).  In his dreams he is his wolf because he was crippled in the first book and can't walk.

Bran from Game of Thrones dreaming that he is his wolf.

Now that I'm writing this I wonder if this is just another way Wolf is reaching out to me?  Probably not since I didn't think wolf at anytime in the dream.  I didn't see any animals at all actually. 

My initial reaction was to research "Bran" and see if there is any deity of any sort by that name and if he had anything to do with commerce, merchandise or business in any way - at least as far as money was concerned.  

Bran the Blessed 

Country of Origin: Welsh, Pan-Celtic  (Of which I have ancestry; but what white American doesn't?) 

Mother: The Goddess Iweridd, else Pendarddun

Father: The Sea God, Llyr

Physical Features:  Giant, legend says he was too large for any house built and he laid across a river so his troops could march over his back to invade Ireland. 

Most Notable Accomplishment:  Making bad choices of husband for female relatives. 

Died:  Poison arrow threw the foot.

Buried:  Tower Hill, which is known today as the Tower of London

Animal Associations: Ravens

Rules: Prophecy, arts, war, writing, and a popular theme among the Celtic religions: cauldron god who could revive slain soldiers and make battles take forEVAH, bra!

Raven's from the Tower of London

Trivia:  Bran's head was buried on Tower Hill (modern home of the Tower of London) facing France to warn off invasion.  When King Author dug the head up as a way of having a pissing contest with a deity figure, he claimed he could keep Britain safe sans mystical talking heads.  Of course, when that failed they started keeping the ravens that had moved into the Tower. Don't know what happen to the head when it was dug up, but new legends say that if the ravens ever leave the Tower that the British empire will fall.  Needless to say that even the modern Brits don't take this lightly and the ravens have their wings clipped so they cant fly away.

Anyway, none of this has anything to do with merchandise, commerce, schooling, shoes, me dressing in flowing white when I'm suppose to be in a prep school blazer and if it is a deity dream... wouldn't animals be in it at least? 

At least this time the dream wasnt about zombies, so that's a step towards healing, right?

Salutations,

Sesh