Dear Neophyte,
I did a tea reading just for fun today. I wasn't thinking about it when I made the cup, but decided why not when some leaves escaped the strainer. I opened the strainer and let them float free. This was a mistake as now I had no way to stop my tea from overstepping and it took me almost 2 hours to drink the acidic cup after that.
This was just for fun so I didn't do more research into it than how to drain the cup and lightly interpret the symbols. According to mine I'm either about to get pregnant, rich or be bulldozed by some emotional person who who likes to scream at people from atop their soap box of narcissism. Seeing how can't get pregnant and don't play the lottery I guess that means I need to bone up on my communication skills.
And apparently I can expect a visitor either tomorrow or the next day. Hopefully not my land lady.
My intuition says that the symbols can be interpreted as I'm going to celebrake Imbolc in the near future and that I already know i'm going to get yelled at by a narcissist, and that's why I've already been boning up on my communication skills.
Yeesh.
The arrow pointing to the left, have no idea what that means though...
The last thing I learned was not to interpret dark brown leaves in a black cup. Yeah, I had to go ahead and allow myself to use the spots where they tea was not in order to get symbols. That was the area the light reflected off and I could see more than just random clumps.
Salutations,
Sesh
Monday, January 26, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
First Soul Retrieval?
Dear Neophyte,
My sister (room mate) is on a journey of self-rediscovery right now. I've been supportive for the last two and a half months. During that time she pulled away from me and I let her have her space. She filled that space with talking non-stop about herself and nothing but herself. One night I couldn't take it anymore and used drinking as an excuse to make her talk about something other than her guy problems.
Everything was good for several days until the other day when she accused me of inappropriate behavior while I was drunk. We discussed the issue, I apologize while explaining my side, and that was suppose to be that. A few days latter I brought up an issue I was having in a non-aggressive way and literally got yelled at for 45 minutes straight and right before I had to go to work.
It's been three days and it's still bothering me. The main reason it's still bothering me is because she's fine now that she's gotten all her aggression and accusations out and is glowing in the light of getting demons off her chest. However I still have things I want to discuss that didn't get discussed. On top of that the problem we did discuss which were on her are not being addressed.
Basically I had problems to discuss and instead of listening to me in a mature fashion she yelled at me a lot for having the audacity to expect her to honor her word that she'd stop doing the things she was doing. She's made no attempt to stop talking non-stop about herself (and has in fact fallen off the narcissistic deep end today by making me repeatedly stop what I'm doing to take pictures of her while she puts makeup on and poses). Instead of the balance being restored it's gone even further out of balance.
Normally when someone says something that isn't true to me, such as when she accused me of inappropriate touching, I just tell them my part and move on. Water off a duck. But this duck isn't beading anymore. The water soaked in and is sitting in my chest and not going away. I've been having to make nice for days now and I don't like having to feel that way. It's mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally draining me.
Tonight I had the end of it and decided to look up therapists, read a book from my shamanism instructor called Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman, and see if I couldn't exercise whatever it was out of me. Turns out that while looking up shamanic practitioners in my area I came across a phrase "sharing negative emotions and experiences". An 'ah-ha!' moment happened wherein I realized the reason she feels so good is because she set me up to reenact a traumatic experience and then something happened where something jumped out of her and into me. Each time we talked about that night I got angrier and angrier about it and dwelled on it and I don't dwell on anything that's happened since I left the woman-hating, abusive, rape-culture loving South. I don't even dwell on the South being so woman raping and child neglecting. That's on them. I"m in a better place.
So, seeking ways to remove this whatever it was (Demon? Soul part? Emotions?) from myself I opened the Gate, pulled it out of myself and let it get sucked into the Otherworld. It seemed to go willingly, almost like a frightened child running out of a burnt down building and into the green, cool woods.
That's when I realized there was a huge chance that thing was a soul piece of her's that jumped onto me. These are just my impressions that I gathered over the course of the night, but it seems to me she was working on her sexual healing and calling her pieces back. They were coming back under the condition that she get and remain strong enough to not let them get hurt again. She violated that by deliberately throwing me under the trigger bus and running over me with her trauma. She put me in the role of the other people who had done that and set up the situation to have me re-enact it. Since she didn't react strongly the soul part fled again to someone stronger than her and that's me. The misery and anxiety of that time has stuck with me because I can't fix the problem for either of them.
Before I shut the Gate I hoped the soul piece (if that's what it was) would find a friend that would take it to a safe place where it would relax and heal before coming back. I got the distinct impression Horus was there and guiding the piece. I don't work with Horus but I do have a statue of Him in Tennessee. Lady Google tells me Horus is seen as a healing deity and has been since antiquity.
I merged with my spirit helpers after that and asked them to fill the remaining void with light. I'm no longer angry and dwelling on it, but I still am upset and there is a need in me to talk once again about the issue with my sister, just to clarify my firm position that I did not cause the trauma, I just reopened an old and unhealed wound. For this situation to be resolved she needs to admit her part in retraumatizing herself and release me from the burdens she placed on me by forcing her negative emotions and experiences onto our present relationship. The demon is gone but the damage can't heal until that happens.
After that I still felt something in my chest so I chose the red stone that "s**" chose for me last semester I was in the shamanism class. Using the technique that my teacher taught me I took down the stone (it "called" to me, I think?) and breathed into it for about 5 minutes trying to transfer the rest of the negative feelings into it. Usually you earth the stone and let the ground mulch the energy. Living in a second story condo I am planning to have a walk around somewhere to bury it for a turn of the moon.
That didn't fully work. I felt unsettled energeticly so I took down the healing rattle I got in class and shook it around myself to realign my energy. It worked to a certain degree. I think I feel Bast or Hather telling me they want that rattle. It's not really dedicated. I've forgotten most of the tidbits about the where-from, who-dedicated, made-with, and used-for of most of my spiritual supplies acquired in that class. The rattle worked to settle me but picked up a LOT of negative energy. I blew it into the ground and gave it to Geb and the Goddess to mulch.
I realized then that I needed to do something else. I can't very well lay down and journey with my sister and her company being loud in the next room. Just then she comes in and asks if I want to be left alone or would I like to join them. That really ran home to me that the thing I took out of me was part of her or had been on here. At that moment I also realized I need to practice psychic shielding against anything else that might be on her from here on out, and not forget to shield either when she talks to me either.
I told her I had something I was doing and I wanted to be in the living room alone. She offered to turn off her TV and take the cat in but I said no to both. I'd be zoned in on fire and there is nothing the cat or TV can do to disrupt me when I'm in front of a fire. My sister really is sweet. She genuinely doesn't understand the damage that she's done and she genuinely isn't going to want to take responsibility for it when I tell her about it.
I went into the living room with the stone, started a fire and prayed. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I opened the Gate, let more energy out and kept it open, letting whatever wanted to go out go. First I prayed in ryhm that I can't remember now for removal of negativity and unwanted emotions. Then I prayed for removal of negative entities and beings that were trying to harm me. For most of it I forgot to be fiercely compassionate but when I did I changed my wording to be more gentle, inviting the beings to leave me because I can't help them and to go to the Gate where Someone who can hep them is waiting. A lot of energy went out. Most of it wasn't even from me. I think the fire stone did a lot of it's work.
After a while of playing with the fire, letting it flicker and meditating on the situation, emotions and consequences of playing the role I was thrust into I asked my spirit helpers to come and merge with me again, to fill me up with their light so the hole in my chest would fill up. I've asked Fox to do that before and He had. This time it didn't work. None of the times I asked Them to fill me up did They. Or maybe They did and it's something else I'm feeling.
Tending the fire has always been soothing to me. It gives me peace and joy and is one of the few times an aspect of my personality was noted as a child. When there was a fire around people would see how I looked at it and notice I was an individual. Near the end of tending it I spontaneously got the urge to invoke Hestia as a Hearth Goddess(tm). Something tells me She wants my attention because it was a hearth I'm at and it's Her domain. I called on Bridgit too since Her holiday of Imbolc is coming up and I'm planning to celebrate it. I'm not used to working with these Goddesses and a little bit of the trauma came back from being in the shamanism class. Back then I was gaining so many new helpers so fast I didn't have time (and also didn't make time when I had it) to give each and every one of them my attention. The result is that I stopped paying attention to my main Two and just worked on Anubis and my Spirit Helpers. I also invited fire into myself for a moment to burn out whatever was inside me.
This seriously damaged my relationship with my Two. There was no way I could juggle so many different magical systems (Egyptian, Celtic, Druid, Norse, Shamanism, Greek and Roman all at once) and make heads or tales. I'm a personality that likes to compartmentalize things in order to make sense of them and mixing Egyptian and Celtic deities on top of Druidic tree worship (for starters) threw me for a loop. I either had to do each and every one of them every day in separate ceremonies in order to avoid offending some of Their delicate sensibilities or I had to narrow it down to one or two. The two I narrowed it down to was Anubis and Spirit Helpers. Then Thoth jumped in. They are far less picky than She-Of-The-Broken-Crockery Who won't share an altar with Hekate and choked my sister in her sleep one night because she was snoring too loudly on the other side of the wall.
Slowly I'm trying to reestablish the relationships I lost, but there are still more helpers than I know what to do with. Now adding Hestia and maybe Bridget? What am I going to do with all these Goddesses!? Anyway, that's not really the point of this exercise. At this point I just played with the fire for the pure joy of tending a fire. I believe I'm going to make this my daily meditation. I can't just sit still and close my eyes and see pictures in my head. I have way too much ADHD for that. From now on when I go for walks I'll pick up any sized sticks I can and bring them back home with me to burn in the fireplace.
I let the fire burn itself out after a while while I went through the forgotten Yule bough basket and picked out stems that were still green to use on Imbolc if they are still green on Imbolk. It's been over a month since I took those branches in after they came down in a wind storm so I'm surprise they are still green. I said goodbye to the Hearth Goddesses and noticed how badly stained with soot my hands were. The greens went into a trash bag in my room and put with my religious supplies. Hopefully that keeps them green, with the holes in the bags giving them enough air to breath without letting them dry out before Feb 2ed.
Getting back to my room the first thing I did was take a shower. This was to remove the horrid smell of camp fire out of my skin. I say horrid because it's so overpoweringly strong when I try to sleep at night and every time I twitch the smell of smoke chokes me from under the blankets. The clothes I was wearing went strait into the hamper. In the shower I took my sweet time, but halfway through felt the need for even more cleansing. So I cleaned my chakras top to bottom and let Geb and the Goddess have the much to mulch. My heart chakra, over the very area of my body I'm feeling the constant sensation in, was shredded and weak. It didn't want to bloom open for me. I pulled a lot of gunk out of it and it took a bit longer than the rest. It was also the one that "splattered" and had to be rinsed off the sides of the stall. It took longer to get it off my hand as well.
Lets talk about my red chakra for a second. That sucker popped open and shone like lime light next to a gas lamp. It was smaller than the rest, being the one I use the least IRL, but that didn't stop it from shining almost half again as bright as the rest. The gunk came right off and down the drain it went. This just goes to reiterate the horse dreams I've been having! Cleaning my chakras is going to become a new activity for me in the shower now. It only takes a minute or two and with as long as I spend just standing there enjoying the water I can use some of that time to clean chakras. I also need to balance mine, but that is for another day!
Getting out of the shower I put my PJs on and as soon as I go to sit back down at my desk I feel my sister's negative energy all over it. It's where I've been sitting sweating that vibe for days now. Immediately I grab my grandmother's brass bell (Hekate's now) and ring it all over my room purifying the space with sound. GODS ON HIGH does my space need to be purified! Just like with the rattle I didn't care if they heard me in the next room. I hope she heard me and I hope it sticks into her head that my space gets purified at the drop of a dime tonight and that I didn't want to be near her tonight.
After I put the bell up I do an additional word clearing near the computer verbally telling the energy to get lost, go to Geb and get mulched. Rearranging the items on my desk helped to clear out the rest of the energy ("stuck" , as the saying goes). Part of me wanted to debate whether I should redo the house blessing at Imbolc but now the house blessing is the number one thing getting done! Along with making the robe from the pattern I bought. The entire house needs to be removed and cleaned of all negative energy. Everything needs to be cleaned from top to bottom with magic wash and lemons. Lots and lots and lots of lemons. In fact, can it just be straight up lemon juice and pure castile soap? I just need purity and springiness right now.
So, after doing a cleansing in my room I put out three new altar bowls on my shrine shelves and poured a toast to everyone. "Cool water in thanks for help with the 'fire'." I even toasted to Fire for It's help tonight, telling it that air feeds fire and water becomes air as it evaporates. Appropriate offering? It's not threatening if you just patiently wait for it to become usable.
Then I got to sit down and take all of this in. Even as I write this, and probably because I'm writing this, I feel the hole in my chest mending over. My instinct said that something was wrong but didn't quite tell me what it was. I kept trying to eject things out of it and also fill it up at the same time. It occurred to me as I sat by the fire contemplating my sister's healing that it could be that it's just a wound. Like any wound it needs to heal on it's own.
This lead me to the conclusion that I need to start shielding since right now I have no shield, I'm not merged and I have a gaping hole in my 'spiritual chest' that might look mighty inviting to whomever else might be out there looking for a home, meal or healer. I do believe now that whatever jumped off my sister and stuck to me did so because she betrayed it, causing more of the same trauma and since I was not actually the bad guy here it sought me out in the role of healer.
All of this leads me back to the path of Priestess and down the role of Healer. Imbolc is the holiday for rededications, house cleaning, Bridgit and healing. I wanted to get back on my path and I guess I showed I was willing enough to do the effort if the Universe met me halfway and gave me a reason to work. I have far, far more reasons to serve Them now than I did in previous months and I feel my own self-healing beginning to take place. Oh, the healing that comes from just a written word!
I need to learn or relearn:
1) Psychic shielding.
2) Fireside meditation.
3) Chakra cleansing.
4) Chakra balancing.
5) Home clearing and blessing.
6) Home warding.
7) Imbolc robe.
8) Imbolc rededication ritual.
9) Soul loss and spiritual healing.
10) Herbalism and physical healing.
Taken into consideration I want to do all this in order to stamp this house as my domain I wish I hadn't told my sister to ask for Imbolc off with me. She doesn't celebrate it and par for the course is using my birthday and the holy day as an excuse to just do errands. That miffs me something rough, though I didn't think about it till now that I really just wish she'd go to work so I'd have the day to myself for rituals, blessings, cleansing, wardings, etc.
No, one last thought before I go: originally I wasn't going to tell my sister about the soul piece. With all that's happened as a result of her "self-growth = ignore my sister and get b*tchy when she forces me to remember she's still a person who needs reciprocation" I honestly don't think she'll own up to it. I can't get healing from this angle. Even as I type this the irritation in my chest is just turning to loving compassion for her situation. In order to tell her she needs to confront that trauma and heal it she'll think I'm attacking if I don't explain why. Explaining why would be attacking since she's not going to want to admit to the damage she caused, regardless of soul pieces to be gained or lost.
It's been a long day so I'm going to dose some sleepy meds and head off into what I can imagine are going to be hellaciously wonderful dreams or no dreams at all. The latter tends to happen when I ask for dreams of a specifically religious nature. The religious dreams happens when I ask for advice on mundane issues, haha!
Salutations,
Sesh
My sister (room mate) is on a journey of self-rediscovery right now. I've been supportive for the last two and a half months. During that time she pulled away from me and I let her have her space. She filled that space with talking non-stop about herself and nothing but herself. One night I couldn't take it anymore and used drinking as an excuse to make her talk about something other than her guy problems.
Everything was good for several days until the other day when she accused me of inappropriate behavior while I was drunk. We discussed the issue, I apologize while explaining my side, and that was suppose to be that. A few days latter I brought up an issue I was having in a non-aggressive way and literally got yelled at for 45 minutes straight and right before I had to go to work.
It's been three days and it's still bothering me. The main reason it's still bothering me is because she's fine now that she's gotten all her aggression and accusations out and is glowing in the light of getting demons off her chest. However I still have things I want to discuss that didn't get discussed. On top of that the problem we did discuss which were on her are not being addressed.
Basically I had problems to discuss and instead of listening to me in a mature fashion she yelled at me a lot for having the audacity to expect her to honor her word that she'd stop doing the things she was doing. She's made no attempt to stop talking non-stop about herself (and has in fact fallen off the narcissistic deep end today by making me repeatedly stop what I'm doing to take pictures of her while she puts makeup on and poses). Instead of the balance being restored it's gone even further out of balance.
Normally when someone says something that isn't true to me, such as when she accused me of inappropriate touching, I just tell them my part and move on. Water off a duck. But this duck isn't beading anymore. The water soaked in and is sitting in my chest and not going away. I've been having to make nice for days now and I don't like having to feel that way. It's mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally draining me.
Tonight I had the end of it and decided to look up therapists, read a book from my shamanism instructor called Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman, and see if I couldn't exercise whatever it was out of me. Turns out that while looking up shamanic practitioners in my area I came across a phrase "sharing negative emotions and experiences". An 'ah-ha!' moment happened wherein I realized the reason she feels so good is because she set me up to reenact a traumatic experience and then something happened where something jumped out of her and into me. Each time we talked about that night I got angrier and angrier about it and dwelled on it and I don't dwell on anything that's happened since I left the woman-hating, abusive, rape-culture loving South. I don't even dwell on the South being so woman raping and child neglecting. That's on them. I"m in a better place.
So, seeking ways to remove this whatever it was (Demon? Soul part? Emotions?) from myself I opened the Gate, pulled it out of myself and let it get sucked into the Otherworld. It seemed to go willingly, almost like a frightened child running out of a burnt down building and into the green, cool woods.
That's when I realized there was a huge chance that thing was a soul piece of her's that jumped onto me. These are just my impressions that I gathered over the course of the night, but it seems to me she was working on her sexual healing and calling her pieces back. They were coming back under the condition that she get and remain strong enough to not let them get hurt again. She violated that by deliberately throwing me under the trigger bus and running over me with her trauma. She put me in the role of the other people who had done that and set up the situation to have me re-enact it. Since she didn't react strongly the soul part fled again to someone stronger than her and that's me. The misery and anxiety of that time has stuck with me because I can't fix the problem for either of them.
Before I shut the Gate I hoped the soul piece (if that's what it was) would find a friend that would take it to a safe place where it would relax and heal before coming back. I got the distinct impression Horus was there and guiding the piece. I don't work with Horus but I do have a statue of Him in Tennessee. Lady Google tells me Horus is seen as a healing deity and has been since antiquity.
I merged with my spirit helpers after that and asked them to fill the remaining void with light. I'm no longer angry and dwelling on it, but I still am upset and there is a need in me to talk once again about the issue with my sister, just to clarify my firm position that I did not cause the trauma, I just reopened an old and unhealed wound. For this situation to be resolved she needs to admit her part in retraumatizing herself and release me from the burdens she placed on me by forcing her negative emotions and experiences onto our present relationship. The demon is gone but the damage can't heal until that happens.
After that I still felt something in my chest so I chose the red stone that "s**" chose for me last semester I was in the shamanism class. Using the technique that my teacher taught me I took down the stone (it "called" to me, I think?) and breathed into it for about 5 minutes trying to transfer the rest of the negative feelings into it. Usually you earth the stone and let the ground mulch the energy. Living in a second story condo I am planning to have a walk around somewhere to bury it for a turn of the moon.
That didn't fully work. I felt unsettled energeticly so I took down the healing rattle I got in class and shook it around myself to realign my energy. It worked to a certain degree. I think I feel Bast or Hather telling me they want that rattle. It's not really dedicated. I've forgotten most of the tidbits about the where-from, who-dedicated, made-with, and used-for of most of my spiritual supplies acquired in that class. The rattle worked to settle me but picked up a LOT of negative energy. I blew it into the ground and gave it to Geb and the Goddess to mulch.
I realized then that I needed to do something else. I can't very well lay down and journey with my sister and her company being loud in the next room. Just then she comes in and asks if I want to be left alone or would I like to join them. That really ran home to me that the thing I took out of me was part of her or had been on here. At that moment I also realized I need to practice psychic shielding against anything else that might be on her from here on out, and not forget to shield either when she talks to me either.
I told her I had something I was doing and I wanted to be in the living room alone. She offered to turn off her TV and take the cat in but I said no to both. I'd be zoned in on fire and there is nothing the cat or TV can do to disrupt me when I'm in front of a fire. My sister really is sweet. She genuinely doesn't understand the damage that she's done and she genuinely isn't going to want to take responsibility for it when I tell her about it.
I went into the living room with the stone, started a fire and prayed. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I opened the Gate, let more energy out and kept it open, letting whatever wanted to go out go. First I prayed in ryhm that I can't remember now for removal of negativity and unwanted emotions. Then I prayed for removal of negative entities and beings that were trying to harm me. For most of it I forgot to be fiercely compassionate but when I did I changed my wording to be more gentle, inviting the beings to leave me because I can't help them and to go to the Gate where Someone who can hep them is waiting. A lot of energy went out. Most of it wasn't even from me. I think the fire stone did a lot of it's work.
After a while of playing with the fire, letting it flicker and meditating on the situation, emotions and consequences of playing the role I was thrust into I asked my spirit helpers to come and merge with me again, to fill me up with their light so the hole in my chest would fill up. I've asked Fox to do that before and He had. This time it didn't work. None of the times I asked Them to fill me up did They. Or maybe They did and it's something else I'm feeling.
Tending the fire has always been soothing to me. It gives me peace and joy and is one of the few times an aspect of my personality was noted as a child. When there was a fire around people would see how I looked at it and notice I was an individual. Near the end of tending it I spontaneously got the urge to invoke Hestia as a Hearth Goddess(tm). Something tells me She wants my attention because it was a hearth I'm at and it's Her domain. I called on Bridgit too since Her holiday of Imbolc is coming up and I'm planning to celebrate it. I'm not used to working with these Goddesses and a little bit of the trauma came back from being in the shamanism class. Back then I was gaining so many new helpers so fast I didn't have time (and also didn't make time when I had it) to give each and every one of them my attention. The result is that I stopped paying attention to my main Two and just worked on Anubis and my Spirit Helpers. I also invited fire into myself for a moment to burn out whatever was inside me.
This seriously damaged my relationship with my Two. There was no way I could juggle so many different magical systems (Egyptian, Celtic, Druid, Norse, Shamanism, Greek and Roman all at once) and make heads or tales. I'm a personality that likes to compartmentalize things in order to make sense of them and mixing Egyptian and Celtic deities on top of Druidic tree worship (for starters) threw me for a loop. I either had to do each and every one of them every day in separate ceremonies in order to avoid offending some of Their delicate sensibilities or I had to narrow it down to one or two. The two I narrowed it down to was Anubis and Spirit Helpers. Then Thoth jumped in. They are far less picky than She-Of-The-Broken-Crockery Who won't share an altar with Hekate and choked my sister in her sleep one night because she was snoring too loudly on the other side of the wall.
Slowly I'm trying to reestablish the relationships I lost, but there are still more helpers than I know what to do with. Now adding Hestia and maybe Bridget? What am I going to do with all these Goddesses!? Anyway, that's not really the point of this exercise. At this point I just played with the fire for the pure joy of tending a fire. I believe I'm going to make this my daily meditation. I can't just sit still and close my eyes and see pictures in my head. I have way too much ADHD for that. From now on when I go for walks I'll pick up any sized sticks I can and bring them back home with me to burn in the fireplace.
I let the fire burn itself out after a while while I went through the forgotten Yule bough basket and picked out stems that were still green to use on Imbolc if they are still green on Imbolk. It's been over a month since I took those branches in after they came down in a wind storm so I'm surprise they are still green. I said goodbye to the Hearth Goddesses and noticed how badly stained with soot my hands were. The greens went into a trash bag in my room and put with my religious supplies. Hopefully that keeps them green, with the holes in the bags giving them enough air to breath without letting them dry out before Feb 2ed.
Getting back to my room the first thing I did was take a shower. This was to remove the horrid smell of camp fire out of my skin. I say horrid because it's so overpoweringly strong when I try to sleep at night and every time I twitch the smell of smoke chokes me from under the blankets. The clothes I was wearing went strait into the hamper. In the shower I took my sweet time, but halfway through felt the need for even more cleansing. So I cleaned my chakras top to bottom and let Geb and the Goddess have the much to mulch. My heart chakra, over the very area of my body I'm feeling the constant sensation in, was shredded and weak. It didn't want to bloom open for me. I pulled a lot of gunk out of it and it took a bit longer than the rest. It was also the one that "splattered" and had to be rinsed off the sides of the stall. It took longer to get it off my hand as well.
Lets talk about my red chakra for a second. That sucker popped open and shone like lime light next to a gas lamp. It was smaller than the rest, being the one I use the least IRL, but that didn't stop it from shining almost half again as bright as the rest. The gunk came right off and down the drain it went. This just goes to reiterate the horse dreams I've been having! Cleaning my chakras is going to become a new activity for me in the shower now. It only takes a minute or two and with as long as I spend just standing there enjoying the water I can use some of that time to clean chakras. I also need to balance mine, but that is for another day!
Getting out of the shower I put my PJs on and as soon as I go to sit back down at my desk I feel my sister's negative energy all over it. It's where I've been sitting sweating that vibe for days now. Immediately I grab my grandmother's brass bell (Hekate's now) and ring it all over my room purifying the space with sound. GODS ON HIGH does my space need to be purified! Just like with the rattle I didn't care if they heard me in the next room. I hope she heard me and I hope it sticks into her head that my space gets purified at the drop of a dime tonight and that I didn't want to be near her tonight.
After I put the bell up I do an additional word clearing near the computer verbally telling the energy to get lost, go to Geb and get mulched. Rearranging the items on my desk helped to clear out the rest of the energy ("stuck" , as the saying goes). Part of me wanted to debate whether I should redo the house blessing at Imbolc but now the house blessing is the number one thing getting done! Along with making the robe from the pattern I bought. The entire house needs to be removed and cleaned of all negative energy. Everything needs to be cleaned from top to bottom with magic wash and lemons. Lots and lots and lots of lemons. In fact, can it just be straight up lemon juice and pure castile soap? I just need purity and springiness right now.
So, after doing a cleansing in my room I put out three new altar bowls on my shrine shelves and poured a toast to everyone. "Cool water in thanks for help with the 'fire'." I even toasted to Fire for It's help tonight, telling it that air feeds fire and water becomes air as it evaporates. Appropriate offering? It's not threatening if you just patiently wait for it to become usable.
Then I got to sit down and take all of this in. Even as I write this, and probably because I'm writing this, I feel the hole in my chest mending over. My instinct said that something was wrong but didn't quite tell me what it was. I kept trying to eject things out of it and also fill it up at the same time. It occurred to me as I sat by the fire contemplating my sister's healing that it could be that it's just a wound. Like any wound it needs to heal on it's own.
This lead me to the conclusion that I need to start shielding since right now I have no shield, I'm not merged and I have a gaping hole in my 'spiritual chest' that might look mighty inviting to whomever else might be out there looking for a home, meal or healer. I do believe now that whatever jumped off my sister and stuck to me did so because she betrayed it, causing more of the same trauma and since I was not actually the bad guy here it sought me out in the role of healer.
All of this leads me back to the path of Priestess and down the role of Healer. Imbolc is the holiday for rededications, house cleaning, Bridgit and healing. I wanted to get back on my path and I guess I showed I was willing enough to do the effort if the Universe met me halfway and gave me a reason to work. I have far, far more reasons to serve Them now than I did in previous months and I feel my own self-healing beginning to take place. Oh, the healing that comes from just a written word!
I need to learn or relearn:
1) Psychic shielding.
2) Fireside meditation.
3) Chakra cleansing.
4) Chakra balancing.
5) Home clearing and blessing.
6) Home warding.
7) Imbolc robe.
8) Imbolc rededication ritual.
9) Soul loss and spiritual healing.
10) Herbalism and physical healing.
Taken into consideration I want to do all this in order to stamp this house as my domain I wish I hadn't told my sister to ask for Imbolc off with me. She doesn't celebrate it and par for the course is using my birthday and the holy day as an excuse to just do errands. That miffs me something rough, though I didn't think about it till now that I really just wish she'd go to work so I'd have the day to myself for rituals, blessings, cleansing, wardings, etc.
No, one last thought before I go: originally I wasn't going to tell my sister about the soul piece. With all that's happened as a result of her "self-growth = ignore my sister and get b*tchy when she forces me to remember she's still a person who needs reciprocation" I honestly don't think she'll own up to it. I can't get healing from this angle. Even as I type this the irritation in my chest is just turning to loving compassion for her situation. In order to tell her she needs to confront that trauma and heal it she'll think I'm attacking if I don't explain why. Explaining why would be attacking since she's not going to want to admit to the damage she caused, regardless of soul pieces to be gained or lost.
It's been a long day so I'm going to dose some sleepy meds and head off into what I can imagine are going to be hellaciously wonderful dreams or no dreams at all. The latter tends to happen when I ask for dreams of a specifically religious nature. The religious dreams happens when I ask for advice on mundane issues, haha!
Salutations,
Sesh
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Jewelry and the Gods
Dear Neophyte,
Since Yule wound up and is winding down I have felt called back to the Gods. I've had a dream recently about Eagle and the fae people. I've kept it to myself since my sister is on a self-centered trip right now (it's hard to read that and understand that it's a good thing, but it is) and doesn't want to make time for anyone else information right now. I'm keeping my missions to myself for the time being.
I reflected upon Them and decided to redo their altar spaces. I'm going to give them that entire book shelf and set up the other shelf in my room (that's still in a box, but is the exact shame shelf) for the non-religous items.
I tried setting it up I realized the other shelf needed the screwdriver that is no longer in my tool kit. The toolkit is now being stored in my closet. I can no longer agreeably share things with other members of my household since, "I didn't lose it" became the unarguable last line of defense when it wasn't me so it had to be you.
Since I can't put the shelf up without my drill I decided to buy my own screwdriver set to expand my toolkit and also to clean out my closet. A lot of that space is not being utilized properly and if I did that I'd be able to stick my art supplies and other things in there, thus freeing up room for more deities on my altar.
I'm going to give Anubis his own space separate from my totems and helpers. The totems will also get their own space on the shelf as opposed to just 'decorating' the top of my computer desk.
These major shifts, and the fact that I'm not talking about them to anyone (you, dear reader, do not in fact no me and are not a 'someone' whom I'm not suppose to be talking to) must be catching the attention of the Gods, for today while cleaning my closet and thinking about Them I found a bag of precious jewelry that has been lost for over a year and a half.
The last place I saw the jewelry was in the airport in Nevada. I was with Dakota and it was in my bag. I switched it to another bag while picking up something of his. I haven't seen it since. How it got into one of my seabags is anyone's issue, since they were in the belly of the plane a quarter mile away at the other end of the airport.
I wondered what was up when five months after I realized they were missing I found one of the pieces (the most non-precious of them, but that I've had since childhood) in the floor of my closet in another house. It saddened me a little to find it and not the ones that had real sentimental value.
However, that is over. This jewelry has been missing so long I completely forgot about it. Then in shaking out a sea bag I turn around and it's sitting in the floor! How it didn't get broken or tarnished is anyone's guess!
What I got back was a gold painted mother-of-pearl necklace my sister got me during one of my visits to Tillamook Oregon. It's hand made by an artist on the coast there and I spotted it halfway across the farmer's market we were at. It was the first thing I ever let someone buy for me, paying full price, that I got just because I wanted.
Yesterday I also bought something for myself that I got just because I wanted (post about it can be found on my Southern Woman blog). I discussed poverty and getting over that mind set.
The second piece that was in there is a silver necklace with an amethyst pendant. It was given to me, I believe, as a Yule gift from my sister's ex-husband (after the divorce, no less) and is the only amethyst necklace I have. My mother gave me two rings years ago, but one of them got lost or stolen (most likely stolen). My favorite one I wore all the time is the one I managed to keep. I cant remember if it was the one I have or the one I lost that my mother said she went into a shop and made payments on.
I'm the only one of her children she ever bought real jewelry for. Actually I'm the only one anyone ever buys real jewelry for... and I don't even ask for it.
This is my lesson today though. I'm refinding the gods and refinding my silver, seashells and amethyst too. Message hear, Guys! I'm on my way back to you!
Salutations,
Sesh
Since Yule wound up and is winding down I have felt called back to the Gods. I've had a dream recently about Eagle and the fae people. I've kept it to myself since my sister is on a self-centered trip right now (it's hard to read that and understand that it's a good thing, but it is) and doesn't want to make time for anyone else information right now. I'm keeping my missions to myself for the time being.
I reflected upon Them and decided to redo their altar spaces. I'm going to give them that entire book shelf and set up the other shelf in my room (that's still in a box, but is the exact shame shelf) for the non-religous items.
I tried setting it up I realized the other shelf needed the screwdriver that is no longer in my tool kit. The toolkit is now being stored in my closet. I can no longer agreeably share things with other members of my household since, "I didn't lose it" became the unarguable last line of defense when it wasn't me so it had to be you.
Since I can't put the shelf up without my drill I decided to buy my own screwdriver set to expand my toolkit and also to clean out my closet. A lot of that space is not being utilized properly and if I did that I'd be able to stick my art supplies and other things in there, thus freeing up room for more deities on my altar.
I'm going to give Anubis his own space separate from my totems and helpers. The totems will also get their own space on the shelf as opposed to just 'decorating' the top of my computer desk.
These major shifts, and the fact that I'm not talking about them to anyone (you, dear reader, do not in fact no me and are not a 'someone' whom I'm not suppose to be talking to) must be catching the attention of the Gods, for today while cleaning my closet and thinking about Them I found a bag of precious jewelry that has been lost for over a year and a half.
The last place I saw the jewelry was in the airport in Nevada. I was with Dakota and it was in my bag. I switched it to another bag while picking up something of his. I haven't seen it since. How it got into one of my seabags is anyone's issue, since they were in the belly of the plane a quarter mile away at the other end of the airport.
I wondered what was up when five months after I realized they were missing I found one of the pieces (the most non-precious of them, but that I've had since childhood) in the floor of my closet in another house. It saddened me a little to find it and not the ones that had real sentimental value.
However, that is over. This jewelry has been missing so long I completely forgot about it. Then in shaking out a sea bag I turn around and it's sitting in the floor! How it didn't get broken or tarnished is anyone's guess!
What I got back was a gold painted mother-of-pearl necklace my sister got me during one of my visits to Tillamook Oregon. It's hand made by an artist on the coast there and I spotted it halfway across the farmer's market we were at. It was the first thing I ever let someone buy for me, paying full price, that I got just because I wanted.
Yesterday I also bought something for myself that I got just because I wanted (post about it can be found on my Southern Woman blog). I discussed poverty and getting over that mind set.
The second piece that was in there is a silver necklace with an amethyst pendant. It was given to me, I believe, as a Yule gift from my sister's ex-husband (after the divorce, no less) and is the only amethyst necklace I have. My mother gave me two rings years ago, but one of them got lost or stolen (most likely stolen). My favorite one I wore all the time is the one I managed to keep. I cant remember if it was the one I have or the one I lost that my mother said she went into a shop and made payments on.
I'm the only one of her children she ever bought real jewelry for. Actually I'm the only one anyone ever buys real jewelry for... and I don't even ask for it.
This is my lesson today though. I'm refinding the gods and refinding my silver, seashells and amethyst too. Message hear, Guys! I'm on my way back to you!
Salutations,
Sesh
Altar Cloths Abound
Hello,
I'm now almost 6 weeks into working at Joann's. Most of the time the usual bland assortment of guests come through. Cranky about having to drive back to town over one spool of thread, one more skein of wool or how they came in for one thing and couldn't help but go all consumerists in every isle.
Then you get the real gem customers. The lady who was making very tasteful wine bottle covers. Being from the South we are all about keeping the alcohol covered, but not shying away from it's consumption. There is the lady making table runners; one making new years decorations and the guy who is making all three siblings from Animaniacs.
Lately though I have seen a plethora of people coming in to make Pagan arts and crafts. One woman was making Wolf and Eagle jewelry. I don't know what the finished product was going to look like but I overheard her talking about it with her daughter. It looked like they were both Native American and the daughter was about 10 and wearing this shirt.
The selection of items they brought up looked like it would have made something like this, but also with a couple of Eagle and Wolf pendants as well.
The next day I had a lady with some very nice red lame fabric. I asked what it was for (we are a craft store after all!) and she said, "It's not really... to make something." I was confused by her off-putting eye aversion. I wanted to know what you'd do with that much red fabric if you didn't intend to use it to "make" something. Then she said, "It's kinda weird." I had this "try me" look on my face so she she takes the fabric and puts it in her bag rather possessive though not aggressive, as if telling me what it's for and me rejecting the idea might taint it. "It's for a Native American altar cloth," she says. Neither her nor her male companion look remotely NA. My eyes light up, "No," I said, rejecting the idea that I would think it's weird, "I get it!" She looked a little stunned that I was smiling. She sort of turned back to me, as if she wanted to have conversation, but the lady next in line did not wait for me to call her and was literally pushing her out the door. I waved, a little upset that I wouldn't get to tell her that I really, really get it and she left. What I fell like I should have said was, "It does feel weird getting ritual supplies form mundane arts and crafts stores, doesn't it?" Because I do and I have.
I also get a trip out of people who ask me for wax seal kits and I point them to metaphysical shops. They're like, "What?" "It's where the Wiccans get their overpriced table cloths with moons all over them." "Um... what?"
I'm constantly amazed by how many people in Oregon can't google it.
Salutations,
Sesh
I'm now almost 6 weeks into working at Joann's. Most of the time the usual bland assortment of guests come through. Cranky about having to drive back to town over one spool of thread, one more skein of wool or how they came in for one thing and couldn't help but go all consumerists in every isle.
Then you get the real gem customers. The lady who was making very tasteful wine bottle covers. Being from the South we are all about keeping the alcohol covered, but not shying away from it's consumption. There is the lady making table runners; one making new years decorations and the guy who is making all three siblings from Animaniacs.
Lately though I have seen a plethora of people coming in to make Pagan arts and crafts. One woman was making Wolf and Eagle jewelry. I don't know what the finished product was going to look like but I overheard her talking about it with her daughter. It looked like they were both Native American and the daughter was about 10 and wearing this shirt.
The selection of items they brought up looked like it would have made something like this, but also with a couple of Eagle and Wolf pendants as well.
 |
| Credit |
I also get a trip out of people who ask me for wax seal kits and I point them to metaphysical shops. They're like, "What?" "It's where the Wiccans get their overpriced table cloths with moons all over them." "Um... what?"
I'm constantly amazed by how many people in Oregon can't google it.
Salutations,
Sesh
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
My gods are...
Dear Neophyte,
My Gods are hurricanes and create the blooming seeds of spring. Every day They destroy and remake everything seen and unseen.
Salutations,
Sesh
My Gods are hurricanes and create the blooming seeds of spring. Every day They destroy and remake everything seen and unseen.
Salutations,
Sesh
Monday, December 22, 2014
Yule 2014
Dear Neophyte,
How have I never gotten Yule up on this blog before? Several years I've been jotting down my Yuletide celebrations, but apparently in some paperform on on the LJ site that I took down several years ago.
So here are my notes about Yule this year (sans my own pictures since they're on my sister's phone).
Yule Eve-Eve: Present shopping at Joann's because we both work there and can get an employee discount on top of most everything in the store already being 30% or higher off. I'm waiting till the after christmas sales to really spend my money.
Originally we weren't going to do presents but we both started shopping in our heads for each other it eventually came out that I was planning to get her butterfly themed stuff during my next pay period (after Yule) The idea was that because we were broke we'd do our on "sister santa" where we'd pick a pre-determined amount of money and then see what we can get. First we weren't going to do anything in the present department, but then changed our minds when we suddenly found ourselves with extra money. We settled on $20-30 limit and then walked around pointing out the crafts we'd either like to get into (yarn-craft for me and scrapbooking for her) and then split up to get our shop on.
Here are some of the things I found for my sister: Ribbon, Metallic Stickers, Candy/Craft Mold, Sprinkles, and the big finale of Scrapbooking Cardstock. I had to put back jewelry making supplies because I hit my budget of $30 and actually went over by $10. I also didn't grab this simple cross stitch because it would have eaten 30% of my budget on one item. There were several other things, including more stickers, a zipper pull 3D paper butterflies that you can suspend from the ceiling that she's planning to make into a mobile something like this.
What she got me included: 2 skeins of Homespun yarn by Lion Brand (I'm under not impression it's actually spun in anyone's home) to go with my knitting loom! I like the idea of looms because you don't need special skills so when they started coming out with these and I saw them making things way faster than knitting needles (and no counting stitches!) I wanted one. Originally I wanted one to make sox with. Unfortunately I didn't know we carried them at work, so I was unable to point it out in time. A lady came up to my register with one specifically for sox and I was dumbfounded. I want this as well. It's 3 times and then some the price of the round loom (and not good for hats or anything else online, so I'll keep the small loom and just get the sock loom when I can afford it.
She also got me this cross stitch that turned out to be a little outside my skill level. The current embroidery I'm working on (there is a difference, even if you use the same floss/thread and fabric) has the design drawn on the fabric. This one does not. I'm not sure how to do a counted cross stitch, but I'll figure it out latter on when I get my current masterwork done.
Next up we have tiny glass bottles. I already have these from an earlier trip and plan to get these too at some point. But what do I do with them? Well, largely they sit there till I need spell work or to store herbs and pins. I'm not a hoarder, so I don't just keep them to keep them. If I have an excess and I"m not using them up then I don't buy more. All my herbs are in hexagon glass jars and stuck to the side of my fridge with industrial strength magnets. (Seriously, don't get art store magnets for serious DIY projects.) I even went back to a single shop on a stretch of road a full 45 minutes from my house three times before I finally caved and bought a necklace with a brass tube attached (about 1' long) that has a twist off top. I use it for spell work. Thoth claimed it after my last spell. I bought an owl necklace locket that I used for spellwork. Thoth claimed that too...
This only feeds my (and Anubis/Thoth's) obsession with empty things. If' it's a box or bottle or anything that's empty (drawers, closets, envelopes, etc) I HAVE to open it up and look inside. A quick trip to pick a friend up from his job at a furniture store ended with an HOUR of me going around and opening up every single decorative box they had on display. And opening all the cabinets. And pulling out all the drawers. I even found a way to open a couple things the employees didn't know opened. Finding where they stash all the hardware and ugly spots in the furniture is also a plus!
The last thing she got me was a scrap of fabric that won't be "big enough to make anything[e.g. clothing]" but might be "big enough for a purse". It's white with little cherry stems on it and right up my alley for a purse. I'm planning a big one with ribbons of many colors. crossing all over the place and some buttons and an iron on design.
For the actual Yule celebration we invited company over. I gave him two jars of my home canned products; one was pickled radishes and the other was strawberry margarita preserves. We ate home cooked vegan food, played with the fire and swapped gifts. Out came the alcohol and we gold embarrassing ghetto stories about our families till we were good and toasted. He sobered up and then went home. Afterwards my sister and I do what we normally do on holy days and split up into our own rooms to do our own things.
And how here I am on Yule and I don't know what to do. Normally we would have held something of a ritual in our living room to this day we did none of it. Just up went a tree, out came some gifts, in went some food and off we went to our spaces. Didn't feel like much of a celebration.
I'm Kemetic Egyptian Reconstructionist, of a sort. + Hakate, and Fox and Hummingbird. I think Grey Wolf and White Horse were there at one point, but not anymore?. What I do know is that the Egyptians did the cycle of life like every cosmology. The Wheel of the Year is the cycle of life sans cosmology. It can fit the Egyptian cosmology as well. What I'm not sure of is if I should do the Wheel of the Year Egyptian and then also do the days the Egyptians celebrated their cosmology or should I just do the Wheel genericly and the Egyptian stuff separately? The Wheel is about the seasons. It doesn't have to be religious at all. Or do I just mention the Gods during the Sabbats and then do their actual rituals on their actual ritual days?
What I do know is that when I consistently celebrate the holidays (Mabon and Samhain for instance) is that I get ideas for exactly how to own those holidays and make them meaningful and mine. I don't really have any for Yule because I've always let Melissa do whatever she wished for this holy day.
I'm doing research and compiling information about Yule. Here is what I have so far:
Cosmological Information: Fire festival, shortest day and longest night, waxing sun overcomes the waning sun. Midwinter feast. Winter solstice.
Purpose: The young overtaking the old. Death of old and rebirth.
When: December 20-31st, depending on when the exact Solstice day falls. Begins on "Mother Night" and ends on "Yule Night", lasting a full 12 days.
Correspondences: Fire, colors of red and green and gold and silver and white, holly wreaths and other evergreen decorations, fancy cookies and breads. Symbols of rebirth such as stags. Baybury for wealth and happiness.
You'll notice that by Pagan standards this feast it suppose to last for 12 days. It's suppose to bring people together mid-winter when folks are normally starving to death (or could be) and allow them to pool their resources to sit beside the good fire and stuff themselves for 12 days. Merriment, magic and friends reside within these halls.
Most Pagans I know of just do a few things to celebrate, which consists of the usual decorating, eating, gift giving and a ritual that probably doesn't last half an hour start to finish (assuming no meditation). My Gods are the reason for the season and I want to celebrate the shit out of them! Not just celebrate but honor and I can't think of a better way to honor the Gods than with days and days of appreciation for all they do for me.
I decided to piggyback thise 12 days theme into my love of activities. Below I'm going to lose activities that anyone can do to celebrate Yule. My hypothesis is that if I just pick one activity every day then I can make this one day celebration into a full 12 days without going bank and without wearing myself out with 12 huge activities crammed into just two days (Yule and Yule eve). This list is in no real order.
1. Decorating the house. Digging out and putting up whatever decorations you have. Else seeing what you'd LIKE to have and acquiring them. In my case I wanted a wreath so I drug home a fallen branch from an evergreen and stripped the smaller branches off to make wreaths. Decorations can be a full day activity if you include things like researching different crafts, purchasing/borrowing craft materials and the time consuming task of actually hand making your own decorations. This is a good day to make tree decorations as well, such as popcorn and seed strands which can latter be given to birds. One way to call good spirits into the home is to hang silver bells on tree branches outside the home.
2. Planning activities, meals and gifts. Gifts should be something appropriate to the season that does not become tacky after Dec 25th, such as silver and white candles. Alternately something that a person might need, such as a pattern for making warm fleece booties. I would either acquire the materials for activities on this day or the items for the meal, but not both. This is also a good time to call and affirm if anyone you may have invited over is indeed coming.
3. Cleaning and cleansing. This is it's own thing. Yes, four times a year your house needs to be deep cleaned both physically and spiritually. Allergens from just a single person, non-pet home build up after just one month, as well as negative/stagnant energies. After three or four months you seriously need to dust the tops of your doors and scrub down the greasy fronts of your kitchen cabinets. 'specially if you have company coming over. Your wards should be strengthened and the blessings renewed. Start here for help if you've never had to clean a home before and here if you've never done a house cleansing and blessing.
4. Burn the Yule log from last year. What is the Yule log? It's the stump of your Yule tree from last year. If you put up a fake tree and have no Yule log then now is a good time to start the tradition. Some peeps don't like cleaning pine needles out of their carpets, but you can at least get one of the little $9 trees from the lot that fit on office table tops. It's real and will produce the required "log" when the branches are stripped after use and only the stump remains. This log is saved for the next year and burned in the fireplace for good luck. I still have mine from several years ago, but I've been sans fire place since I got it and now it's stuck in Tennessee :(
5. Tree. Get a real one if you can. It's going to cost anywhere between $20-45 but the guys on the lot will give you a stand for it and put it on your car for you. Most of them come trimmed. If you don't want to pay that much for a normal sized tree then you can buy defected and tiny table top trees for as little as $9. Plastic trees work too but nothing like a real tree in your living room slowly dying to emphasize the death process, or the fire that will spring to life out of the new wood next year to show rebirth! This getting of and putting up and decorating of the tree is it's own full day activity. Trust me. People who hate all the holiday work just burn out trying to do everything in one day. Take your time and enjoy.
6. Feed the critters. Put out bird seed, popcorn balls, peanuts and other foods far enough away from your windows that you can watch them with binoculars but not give them the impression that diving through your open window will net them the rest of the bag of goodies. This is the middle of winter and they critters who's homes we moved out homes up into have a need for food as well.
7. Charity, friends, neighbors and family. Yule is not a holiday where you're required to invite people over, especially since so many of them are not going to be Pagan (if you're from a typical family) and probably won't understand why you're celebrating "Christmas" up to five days earily. Or why nothing you have decorating your house involves barn animals and women in mumus. If you're feeling froggy you could invite them over anyway and play them your favorite "Christmas" songs. What I mean is to make sure your relatives on the fringe of the family, or who are lower on the socioeconomic scale, are doing fine. Check in on your neighbors as well. Long ago peeps used to gather in feasting halls to take care of themselves and others with cheer in the middle of a dreary time of year for many. The hungry got fed, the lonely had company and elderly shared stories. In lieu of having our own giant feasting hall we can at least pick up a phone and hand over a can of cran-jelly to the single father of 3 next door who just lost his part time job. This should be where your excess food goes, as most people you actually know are too polite to tell you that your taste in clothing is atrocious and no they don't want your old ripped up rock star shorts.
7. Charity, strangers. Go through your house and get rid of all the things you aren't using. Declutter and give it all away. Take three bins with you through the house. One says "Give Away", the other says "Fix" and the last one says "Throw Away". You're required to fill the first one up and take it immediately to the car and drive it immediately to your prefered drop point. I like the Salvation Army, since Goodwill now charges more than retail and I don't support dishonest charities. You have till the next solstice to fix the things in the "Fix" bin or they get moved into the "Throw Away" bin.
8. Feast. Yes, the eating. I'm sure you can figure out how to google recipes and turn on an oven. I also don't need to tell you how to chew and swallow. Since you're not required to invite people over it can be a simple meal of just affordable things you like or you can go all out and invite everyone over to celebrate and have it be a potluck style deal. Most peeps do something in between. My sister and I use the holy days as an excuse to get company out to our house, since we also cook a lot of different foods and want help eating it all. We also take the time off work for before and the day of every holiday in order to have time to do everything. Company just makes it better on Yule because they appreciate the fire, usually bring their own food and booze and there is an increased chance I'll get more yarn for making more socks. I'm all about layer and layers of socks during the winter months!
9. Ritual. I'm sure you already have a type of Yule ritual you like to do. If not then a google search will find you a plethora. I'd recommend a simple ritual if you've never done Yule before. I'd also recommend doing it along if you've never done it before. I've been doing it for years now and I still find other people distracting when I'm trying to call my gods because no one else I could celebrate with even has the same gods as me. Ritual, by the way, does not involve jumping into a circle, saying some words, playing with fire and snuffing out candles. The entire DAY should be ritual, with you making offerings and doing meditations and magic and dance, etc. You get up, ritual purify yourself via shower and then cook breakfast for you and the gods. You do it again at lunch (sans shower, but with ritual purification no less) and again a dinner. You do spells and divination and whatever other activities you decided to do to rededicate yourself to your gods. If, for instance, you were a devotee of Sobek you might spend the day putting together an altar for Him (assuming you don't have one) and welcoming Him into your home.
10. The elderly. Yes, the Crone goddess manifests Herself in every woman and the Elder manifests Himself in every man. Honor them. Call, write and visit your elderly. Make sure they have what they need and get a list of what they aren't getting. Follow through. This is a ritual of honoring the real people in your life who paved the way. Honoring the elder in yourself is also a good idea. If you don't have any elders in your life then perhaps now is a good time to acquire some since so many are left neglected at nursing homes or other such facilities. The elderly aspects of our Gods should be celebrated at this time. For instance, Isis is a grandmother. Yeah, most people don't know that. And She's certainly an elder, seeing how She's thousands of years old. Acknowledging Her elder aspect may make Her feel good that you see Her as a whole woman and not just the parts you might find convenient. A goddess like Hekate, who has a permanent elder aspect, could receive offerings at a crossroads, since this is Her domain.
11. Pregnancy. This concept doesn't just revolve around parenthood but ideas you and others have been pregnant with for a while. This is about emotions you're pregnant with and dealing with them. This is about a situation that is so pregnant with stagnation or rust that it needs some help to be born. Make a list of all the things you'd like to do. This is kind of like your new years resolutions. Make plans for how you are going to accomplish your goals. How to write goals can be found here. This makes you pregnant with hope for the future and allows you to get a clear idea of what you might hope to accomplish over the next several weeks and months. Just to get the ball rolling you should make one of your goals something you can easily accomplish the next day. I'd suggest something like eating all three of your daily meals and not skipping any of them. Celebrate your Gods who are about to be parents. Celebrate Isis and Osiris, who are pregnant with Horus at this time. Do a ritual that will mislead Set in His search for Isis. As Isis' is protected by you in Her time of need then so too might She return the favor when you have your own goals to accomplish.
12. Birth. Choose one of your ideas from the list that is easily accomplished and accomplish it. For the above mentioned example you would simply eat three meals a day. A meal consists of one vegetable, one grain and one fruit or dairy. Anything other than that (in this example) is just a snack or junk food and not a meal at all. Your goal hear is to get focused on giving birth to your goals and allowing them to come forth naturally. The Goddess is also giving birth to the God at this time of the year and should be included in your celebrations. For me I would imagine Isis and all Her helpers giving birth to Horus in a reed marsh and the birth of Horus, who is a sun God, is the light of the sun returning to the world once more. The days, after all, get longer and longer after this and celebrating birth last on the list will tie the death holiday into the lighter half of the year, creating wondrous continuity.
So, those are just some ideas on how to celebrate the 12 days of Yule. Certainly you don't have to do all this or any of this and you can change what you don't like. Heck, even change what you do to suite your tastes!
Salutations,
Sesh
How have I never gotten Yule up on this blog before? Several years I've been jotting down my Yuletide celebrations, but apparently in some paperform on on the LJ site that I took down several years ago.
So here are my notes about Yule this year (sans my own pictures since they're on my sister's phone).
Yule Eve-Eve: Present shopping at Joann's because we both work there and can get an employee discount on top of most everything in the store already being 30% or higher off. I'm waiting till the after christmas sales to really spend my money.
Originally we weren't going to do presents but we both started shopping in our heads for each other it eventually came out that I was planning to get her butterfly themed stuff during my next pay period (after Yule) The idea was that because we were broke we'd do our on "sister santa" where we'd pick a pre-determined amount of money and then see what we can get. First we weren't going to do anything in the present department, but then changed our minds when we suddenly found ourselves with extra money. We settled on $20-30 limit and then walked around pointing out the crafts we'd either like to get into (yarn-craft for me and scrapbooking for her) and then split up to get our shop on.
Here are some of the things I found for my sister: Ribbon, Metallic Stickers, Candy/Craft Mold, Sprinkles, and the big finale of Scrapbooking Cardstock. I had to put back jewelry making supplies because I hit my budget of $30 and actually went over by $10. I also didn't grab this simple cross stitch because it would have eaten 30% of my budget on one item. There were several other things, including more stickers, a zipper pull 3D paper butterflies that you can suspend from the ceiling that she's planning to make into a mobile something like this.
What she got me included: 2 skeins of Homespun yarn by Lion Brand (I'm under not impression it's actually spun in anyone's home) to go with my knitting loom! I like the idea of looms because you don't need special skills so when they started coming out with these and I saw them making things way faster than knitting needles (and no counting stitches!) I wanted one. Originally I wanted one to make sox with. Unfortunately I didn't know we carried them at work, so I was unable to point it out in time. A lady came up to my register with one specifically for sox and I was dumbfounded. I want this as well. It's 3 times and then some the price of the round loom (and not good for hats or anything else online, so I'll keep the small loom and just get the sock loom when I can afford it.
She also got me this cross stitch that turned out to be a little outside my skill level. The current embroidery I'm working on (there is a difference, even if you use the same floss/thread and fabric) has the design drawn on the fabric. This one does not. I'm not sure how to do a counted cross stitch, but I'll figure it out latter on when I get my current masterwork done.
Next up we have tiny glass bottles. I already have these from an earlier trip and plan to get these too at some point. But what do I do with them? Well, largely they sit there till I need spell work or to store herbs and pins. I'm not a hoarder, so I don't just keep them to keep them. If I have an excess and I"m not using them up then I don't buy more. All my herbs are in hexagon glass jars and stuck to the side of my fridge with industrial strength magnets. (Seriously, don't get art store magnets for serious DIY projects.) I even went back to a single shop on a stretch of road a full 45 minutes from my house three times before I finally caved and bought a necklace with a brass tube attached (about 1' long) that has a twist off top. I use it for spell work. Thoth claimed it after my last spell. I bought an owl necklace locket that I used for spellwork. Thoth claimed that too...
This only feeds my (and Anubis/Thoth's) obsession with empty things. If' it's a box or bottle or anything that's empty (drawers, closets, envelopes, etc) I HAVE to open it up and look inside. A quick trip to pick a friend up from his job at a furniture store ended with an HOUR of me going around and opening up every single decorative box they had on display. And opening all the cabinets. And pulling out all the drawers. I even found a way to open a couple things the employees didn't know opened. Finding where they stash all the hardware and ugly spots in the furniture is also a plus!
The last thing she got me was a scrap of fabric that won't be "big enough to make anything[e.g. clothing]" but might be "big enough for a purse". It's white with little cherry stems on it and right up my alley for a purse. I'm planning a big one with ribbons of many colors. crossing all over the place and some buttons and an iron on design.
For the actual Yule celebration we invited company over. I gave him two jars of my home canned products; one was pickled radishes and the other was strawberry margarita preserves. We ate home cooked vegan food, played with the fire and swapped gifts. Out came the alcohol and we gold embarrassing ghetto stories about our families till we were good and toasted. He sobered up and then went home. Afterwards my sister and I do what we normally do on holy days and split up into our own rooms to do our own things.
And how here I am on Yule and I don't know what to do. Normally we would have held something of a ritual in our living room to this day we did none of it. Just up went a tree, out came some gifts, in went some food and off we went to our spaces. Didn't feel like much of a celebration.
I'm Kemetic Egyptian Reconstructionist, of a sort. + Hakate, and Fox and Hummingbird. I think Grey Wolf and White Horse were there at one point, but not anymore?. What I do know is that the Egyptians did the cycle of life like every cosmology. The Wheel of the Year is the cycle of life sans cosmology. It can fit the Egyptian cosmology as well. What I'm not sure of is if I should do the Wheel of the Year Egyptian and then also do the days the Egyptians celebrated their cosmology or should I just do the Wheel genericly and the Egyptian stuff separately? The Wheel is about the seasons. It doesn't have to be religious at all. Or do I just mention the Gods during the Sabbats and then do their actual rituals on their actual ritual days?
What I do know is that when I consistently celebrate the holidays (Mabon and Samhain for instance) is that I get ideas for exactly how to own those holidays and make them meaningful and mine. I don't really have any for Yule because I've always let Melissa do whatever she wished for this holy day.
I'm doing research and compiling information about Yule. Here is what I have so far:
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Purpose: The young overtaking the old. Death of old and rebirth.
When: December 20-31st, depending on when the exact Solstice day falls. Begins on "Mother Night" and ends on "Yule Night", lasting a full 12 days.
Correspondences: Fire, colors of red and green and gold and silver and white, holly wreaths and other evergreen decorations, fancy cookies and breads. Symbols of rebirth such as stags. Baybury for wealth and happiness.
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You'll notice that by Pagan standards this feast it suppose to last for 12 days. It's suppose to bring people together mid-winter when folks are normally starving to death (or could be) and allow them to pool their resources to sit beside the good fire and stuff themselves for 12 days. Merriment, magic and friends reside within these halls.
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Most Pagans I know of just do a few things to celebrate, which consists of the usual decorating, eating, gift giving and a ritual that probably doesn't last half an hour start to finish (assuming no meditation). My Gods are the reason for the season and I want to celebrate the shit out of them! Not just celebrate but honor and I can't think of a better way to honor the Gods than with days and days of appreciation for all they do for me.
I decided to piggyback thise 12 days theme into my love of activities. Below I'm going to lose activities that anyone can do to celebrate Yule. My hypothesis is that if I just pick one activity every day then I can make this one day celebration into a full 12 days without going bank and without wearing myself out with 12 huge activities crammed into just two days (Yule and Yule eve). This list is in no real order.
1. Decorating the house. Digging out and putting up whatever decorations you have. Else seeing what you'd LIKE to have and acquiring them. In my case I wanted a wreath so I drug home a fallen branch from an evergreen and stripped the smaller branches off to make wreaths. Decorations can be a full day activity if you include things like researching different crafts, purchasing/borrowing craft materials and the time consuming task of actually hand making your own decorations. This is a good day to make tree decorations as well, such as popcorn and seed strands which can latter be given to birds. One way to call good spirits into the home is to hang silver bells on tree branches outside the home.
2. Planning activities, meals and gifts. Gifts should be something appropriate to the season that does not become tacky after Dec 25th, such as silver and white candles. Alternately something that a person might need, such as a pattern for making warm fleece booties. I would either acquire the materials for activities on this day or the items for the meal, but not both. This is also a good time to call and affirm if anyone you may have invited over is indeed coming.
3. Cleaning and cleansing. This is it's own thing. Yes, four times a year your house needs to be deep cleaned both physically and spiritually. Allergens from just a single person, non-pet home build up after just one month, as well as negative/stagnant energies. After three or four months you seriously need to dust the tops of your doors and scrub down the greasy fronts of your kitchen cabinets. 'specially if you have company coming over. Your wards should be strengthened and the blessings renewed. Start here for help if you've never had to clean a home before and here if you've never done a house cleansing and blessing.
4. Burn the Yule log from last year. What is the Yule log? It's the stump of your Yule tree from last year. If you put up a fake tree and have no Yule log then now is a good time to start the tradition. Some peeps don't like cleaning pine needles out of their carpets, but you can at least get one of the little $9 trees from the lot that fit on office table tops. It's real and will produce the required "log" when the branches are stripped after use and only the stump remains. This log is saved for the next year and burned in the fireplace for good luck. I still have mine from several years ago, but I've been sans fire place since I got it and now it's stuck in Tennessee :(
5. Tree. Get a real one if you can. It's going to cost anywhere between $20-45 but the guys on the lot will give you a stand for it and put it on your car for you. Most of them come trimmed. If you don't want to pay that much for a normal sized tree then you can buy defected and tiny table top trees for as little as $9. Plastic trees work too but nothing like a real tree in your living room slowly dying to emphasize the death process, or the fire that will spring to life out of the new wood next year to show rebirth! This getting of and putting up and decorating of the tree is it's own full day activity. Trust me. People who hate all the holiday work just burn out trying to do everything in one day. Take your time and enjoy.
6. Feed the critters. Put out bird seed, popcorn balls, peanuts and other foods far enough away from your windows that you can watch them with binoculars but not give them the impression that diving through your open window will net them the rest of the bag of goodies. This is the middle of winter and they critters who's homes we moved out homes up into have a need for food as well.
7. Charity, friends, neighbors and family. Yule is not a holiday where you're required to invite people over, especially since so many of them are not going to be Pagan (if you're from a typical family) and probably won't understand why you're celebrating "Christmas" up to five days earily. Or why nothing you have decorating your house involves barn animals and women in mumus. If you're feeling froggy you could invite them over anyway and play them your favorite "Christmas" songs. What I mean is to make sure your relatives on the fringe of the family, or who are lower on the socioeconomic scale, are doing fine. Check in on your neighbors as well. Long ago peeps used to gather in feasting halls to take care of themselves and others with cheer in the middle of a dreary time of year for many. The hungry got fed, the lonely had company and elderly shared stories. In lieu of having our own giant feasting hall we can at least pick up a phone and hand over a can of cran-jelly to the single father of 3 next door who just lost his part time job. This should be where your excess food goes, as most people you actually know are too polite to tell you that your taste in clothing is atrocious and no they don't want your old ripped up rock star shorts.
7. Charity, strangers. Go through your house and get rid of all the things you aren't using. Declutter and give it all away. Take three bins with you through the house. One says "Give Away", the other says "Fix" and the last one says "Throw Away". You're required to fill the first one up and take it immediately to the car and drive it immediately to your prefered drop point. I like the Salvation Army, since Goodwill now charges more than retail and I don't support dishonest charities. You have till the next solstice to fix the things in the "Fix" bin or they get moved into the "Throw Away" bin.
8. Feast. Yes, the eating. I'm sure you can figure out how to google recipes and turn on an oven. I also don't need to tell you how to chew and swallow. Since you're not required to invite people over it can be a simple meal of just affordable things you like or you can go all out and invite everyone over to celebrate and have it be a potluck style deal. Most peeps do something in between. My sister and I use the holy days as an excuse to get company out to our house, since we also cook a lot of different foods and want help eating it all. We also take the time off work for before and the day of every holiday in order to have time to do everything. Company just makes it better on Yule because they appreciate the fire, usually bring their own food and booze and there is an increased chance I'll get more yarn for making more socks. I'm all about layer and layers of socks during the winter months!
9. Ritual. I'm sure you already have a type of Yule ritual you like to do. If not then a google search will find you a plethora. I'd recommend a simple ritual if you've never done Yule before. I'd also recommend doing it along if you've never done it before. I've been doing it for years now and I still find other people distracting when I'm trying to call my gods because no one else I could celebrate with even has the same gods as me. Ritual, by the way, does not involve jumping into a circle, saying some words, playing with fire and snuffing out candles. The entire DAY should be ritual, with you making offerings and doing meditations and magic and dance, etc. You get up, ritual purify yourself via shower and then cook breakfast for you and the gods. You do it again at lunch (sans shower, but with ritual purification no less) and again a dinner. You do spells and divination and whatever other activities you decided to do to rededicate yourself to your gods. If, for instance, you were a devotee of Sobek you might spend the day putting together an altar for Him (assuming you don't have one) and welcoming Him into your home.
10. The elderly. Yes, the Crone goddess manifests Herself in every woman and the Elder manifests Himself in every man. Honor them. Call, write and visit your elderly. Make sure they have what they need and get a list of what they aren't getting. Follow through. This is a ritual of honoring the real people in your life who paved the way. Honoring the elder in yourself is also a good idea. If you don't have any elders in your life then perhaps now is a good time to acquire some since so many are left neglected at nursing homes or other such facilities. The elderly aspects of our Gods should be celebrated at this time. For instance, Isis is a grandmother. Yeah, most people don't know that. And She's certainly an elder, seeing how She's thousands of years old. Acknowledging Her elder aspect may make Her feel good that you see Her as a whole woman and not just the parts you might find convenient. A goddess like Hekate, who has a permanent elder aspect, could receive offerings at a crossroads, since this is Her domain.
11. Pregnancy. This concept doesn't just revolve around parenthood but ideas you and others have been pregnant with for a while. This is about emotions you're pregnant with and dealing with them. This is about a situation that is so pregnant with stagnation or rust that it needs some help to be born. Make a list of all the things you'd like to do. This is kind of like your new years resolutions. Make plans for how you are going to accomplish your goals. How to write goals can be found here. This makes you pregnant with hope for the future and allows you to get a clear idea of what you might hope to accomplish over the next several weeks and months. Just to get the ball rolling you should make one of your goals something you can easily accomplish the next day. I'd suggest something like eating all three of your daily meals and not skipping any of them. Celebrate your Gods who are about to be parents. Celebrate Isis and Osiris, who are pregnant with Horus at this time. Do a ritual that will mislead Set in His search for Isis. As Isis' is protected by you in Her time of need then so too might She return the favor when you have your own goals to accomplish.
12. Birth. Choose one of your ideas from the list that is easily accomplished and accomplish it. For the above mentioned example you would simply eat three meals a day. A meal consists of one vegetable, one grain and one fruit or dairy. Anything other than that (in this example) is just a snack or junk food and not a meal at all. Your goal hear is to get focused on giving birth to your goals and allowing them to come forth naturally. The Goddess is also giving birth to the God at this time of the year and should be included in your celebrations. For me I would imagine Isis and all Her helpers giving birth to Horus in a reed marsh and the birth of Horus, who is a sun God, is the light of the sun returning to the world once more. The days, after all, get longer and longer after this and celebrating birth last on the list will tie the death holiday into the lighter half of the year, creating wondrous continuity.
So, those are just some ideas on how to celebrate the 12 days of Yule. Certainly you don't have to do all this or any of this and you can change what you don't like. Heck, even change what you do to suite your tastes!
Salutations,
Sesh
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